A Warning To Readers, There is minor sexual content and some swearing. This also deals with a few heavy issues.


"Kiss me," I whispered to her, "Kiss me right here, right now."

Brittany slapped me hard across the face. People watched as she stormed down the hallway, in her rolled up plaid skirt and knee socks. My uniform felt too tight all of the sudden as I was called into the principal's office. I sat through a lecture about what it means to be a student at Chesnut Grove School For Girls. I maintained a straight face as words such as "irresponsible" and "immature" were thrown around. Luckily, they had not found out about me and Brittany, my roommate. I was being punished for an outburst I had in our dorm room the night before. What they thought was that Brittany and I had gotten into a fight about some trivial room related issue. What really happened was that Brittany had cheated on me with a boy from our brother school. She snuck in at one in the morning and found me fuming on her bed. The rest is a blur of screaming and arguing.

"We need a few weeks to find you two a new living arrangement. Until then, refrain from causing another incident," said the principal.

"Fine," I mumbled through gritted teeth.

I emerged from the office angry. I wanted to vent to a friend, but all of my "friends" were really friends of Brittany. That had been enough for me, before....
I didn't feel like returning to the room. I couldn't face Brit again. Not after what she did. I didn't even know why I liked her. Was it because she was pretty? Charming? Willing? At one time, it felt like I might have loved her. Oh well.
I let her go in my mind as I trudged out to the courtyard and slammed my back against a tree. Sliding down, I plopped to the ground and blew a baby hair out of my face. "GRRR!" I said as I pulled grass out of the ground. I heard a surprised yelp on the other side of the tree. Michelle, a girl from my chem class was sitting on the other side.

"Sorry Michelle," I said.

"It's okay. What's wrong?" she asked.

"Roommate troubles," I answered.

"I heard," she replied.

"People are already talking about it?"

"No, I heard you screaming last night."

"Oh. Sorry about that," I said, not caring what she had heard.

"No worries. What were you two fighting about anyway?" she asked.

"Oh...It's a long, long, long story."

"I understand."

No she didn't.

We talked about roommates for a while. Michelle was nice, sweet. She was more of an intellectual, but she had a sincerity that more than made up for her lack of charm.

"Maybe you'll be paired with the new girl," she said.

"What?"

"There's a new girl coming in soon. Maybe you'll be roomed with her."

"Yeah, maybe."

I spent all afternoon before returning to my room. Brittany was putting face cream on in the bathroom. She was only wearing her underwear and an undershirt. She looked at me and gave me a sly smile. Walking toward me, she cupped my face in her hands and leaned in. I leaned back.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked, backing away from her.

"Come on Renee, you know you can't stay mad at me," she said in a sultry voice, wrapping her arms around my waist.

"Actually," I gently unwrapped her arms and stepped away from her, "I can."

Her jaw dropped, "Oh, come on. Will you stop being such a baby about this?"

"You..." I lowered my voice, "You slept with someone else Brittany. And I also still have your handprint on my cheek from earlier today."

"I didn't sleep with him. We just fooled around!" she replied.

"I don't want to know the details. I'm getting a new roommate. Until then, don't talk to me."

"Fine," she said, making sure to swing her hips suggestively as she walked back to the bathroom.

I sighed and undressed. I put on a night shirt and boxers before I brushed my teeth. Brittany was awake, but turned away from my bed. I slid under the covers and fell asleep.

I woke the next morning to find that Brittany had already left for breakfast. I grabbed a pop tart and decided to skip an awkward morning in the cafeteria. I ran downstairs and found my first period classroom.
I began to eat the pop tart before I heard someone clear their throat. It was Brittany.

"That's my desk," she said, slamming her books on top of the desk I was sitting at, "Come and sit with me if you decide to come to your senses and join the rest of the living world."

She threw me a vicious look and stormed out, heading back to the cafeteria. My first three classes that day dragged on, especially since Brit was in every single one of my morning classes. She was clearly spreading some rumor about me, seeing that she would whisper with her friends who would periodically look back at me. I didn't care. I never needed anyone but one girlfriend at this school, and I wasn't planning on needing anyone else.

Suddenly, we all heard a girl scream, "FUCK YOU!" outside the window. Outside, a girl struggled to drag her bags from a silver Lexus. She proceeded to scream at what looked like her father. Her father rolled his eyes and climbed inside of the car. He drove away, his daughter's last bag falling from the trunk. The girl flipped the car off and walked inside with her bags rolling on small wheels behind her.

The girls were silent for a moment in the classroom before laughing and chatting. The teacher, after processing what had happened, silenced the girls. Just as the class became silent, the intercom turned on.

"Will Renee Johnson please report to the office," said the cold voice over the intercom.

The room once again filled with excited murmers.

I thought about what I could have done to be sent to the office again. Brittany and I weren't that loud while fighting the night before. I finally reached the office and saw another girl with the headmistress. I was struck silent for a long moment when I saw how beautiful she was. She had a very natural beauty to her in contrast to the deep red/violet streaks in her mahogany colored hair. She looked at me with a frown and turned toward the principal.

"Renee, this is Katherine. She is new to this school and your new roommate. You both have a room in the Tower on the fourth floor in room 5B. Renee, I have spoken to your teachers and you have the day off to help Katherine settle in," said the headmistress

"Thanks..." I said, thanking God for my good fortune to get one of the most envied rooms on campus with a gorgeous roommate.

We left the office and I led Katherine to the Tower. On the way there, she was walking silently with her arms crossed. I wanted to speak to her, but seeing from her fight with her father outside of my classroom, it was clear that she was not in a chatty mood. I climbed the stairs with her following me. We both struggled with her bags on the way up. I unlocked the door with the key given to us at the front desk and set the bags down inside. The room was pretty big, with two desks side by side, a few windows with a great view of the courtyards, and two twin beds pushed against the wall, separated by a nightstand.

"Which bed do you want?" I asked her.

"I don't care," she answered, throwing one of her bags on the left bed.

She sat on the bed and looked out the window. She seemed distracted.

"It does get easier," I said.

"What?"

"Living away from home."

"I don't care about that. I'm glad to get out of my house. My parents are assholes," she mumbled.

"Why are they assholes?" I asked, realizing how forward I was being.

"They... They're never home and when they are, they're surprised that I am pissed at them for not being around more often. They work a lot."

"Oh," I answered. Was I the only teenager who liked my parents?

"Yeah, whatever," she shrugged.

"Do you want a tour?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Fuck no," she laughed. I was silent for a moment before she said, "Sorry, I'm just not in the mood."

"So... What are you in the mood to do?" I asked.

"I don't know. What can you do here?" she asked, almost sarcastically.

"You can get away with almost anything here. So, whatever you want."

"Really?" She looked stunned.

"Yeah. I really only got busted once for fighting with my girlfr....roommate."

"With your girlfriend?" she asked, casually.

I stopped. How did she?.....

"Um..." I began.

"Don't worry, it's no big deal to me. I won't tell," She said.

"How did you know?"

"Well, my gaydar is pretty good."

"And what about me...triggered your gaydar?" Wait...was I flirting with her?

"Well, your walk isn't as springy as a straight girls, your finger nails are cut really short, and you're jacked, probably a school athlete."

She was good.

"Also..." she continued, "You haven't mentioned one guy yet and I caught you checking out that blonde in the hallway. You're not fully butch or anything, but I guess it's easier for one to recognize another."

"Wait.... Do you mean that you're....?"

"Bisexual. But don't worry, I won't hit on you," Yay? "Even though you remind me strongly of Linda Hamilton in T2, I'm on a sort of break from dating right now."

"Why?" I asked.

"Bad break up with my ex boyfriend."

"I'm sorry. What happened?"

"He kept on accusing me of being a lesbian. I was really close to my best friend, Laura, but nothing happened between us. He was convinced I was cheating and basically outed me at my old school."

"Geez," I exhaled.

"That's the main reason I left. My parents took that as an invitation to send me away."

"I'm sorry," I said again.

"Don't be. It wasn't your fault."

We sat there for a few moments. She looked at me and then out the window again. I just kept looking at her.

Katherine tapped her pencil rapidly as the teacher lectured. Her chin was cupped by her left hand. Her hair fell gracefully over her arm and the ends tickled the smooth wood of the desk. Her gaze would move periodically towards the clock, before she would sigh and pretend to concentrate on the lesson once again. She stretched her arms, arching her back. I watched as her form became visible against the opaque fabric of her button down shirt. I looked away before anyone could notice, but I saw Brittany had. She shot me a look before her icy gaze settled on Katherine.
The bell rang and people began to gather their books and leave the room. Katherine and I, who had similar schedules, had our next class in that same room, so we stayed put. Brittany made her way toward Katherine and I.

"Hello, I'm Brittany," she said to Katherine.

"Oh, hello. I'm Katherine."

"I know. That was quite an entrance you made the other day," said Brittany with a smile.

"Brit..." I began.

"You mean the fight with my dad?" answered Katherine, "Well, you know how parents are when they try to get rid of their kids."

"It was... quite the little fight," remarked Brittany.

"Brit!" I began once again, but I was cut off.

"You seem to be settling in with Renee pretty well. Just a warning, you should be careful who you hang out with," Brittany said in an undertone.

"Why is that?" asked Katherine, keeping her cool.

"People might get the wrong idea."

"Well, you were pretty cozy with her. At least, that's what I've been told by quite a few people. I'm sure you have friends waiting to hear about this conversation right now. Tell them that I am just friends with Renee. Really, REALLY good friends. Nice meeting you...Brit," said Katherine, with a smile.

Brittany frowned and walked out of the room. It was our daily 20 minute break, so she joined her friends in the hallway. I looked at Katherine.

"So that's the famous Brittany," said Katherine.

"You know what people will think," I said to her.

"I know. I don't care. I learned a while ago not to be afraid of what people will think," she said.

"People don't really believe Brittany anyway. They suck up to her, but they know that she lies a lot."

"Is that why you guys broke up?"

"Sort of. Yeah, I guess so."

"She is... Quite the charmer."

"She does have a good side, believe it or not. She can be really..." I began.

"She's hot, I understand," she laughed.

"Haha. Seriously though, she can be really nice sometimes. She was so good to me when we first started going out."

"Not anymore though."

We talked about past relationships throughout our break. She told me about her ex boyfriend and I told her about my first girlfriend. My first girlfriend also went to the school. After we broke up, she was caught with another girl and expelled.

"You are a really loyal person," said Katherine with a smile.

"Yeah, I guess so," I answered.

"Well, don't worry," she said, resting her hand on my shoulder, "I won't take advantage of you."

"Thanks," I said, extremely aware of her hand's touch.

Katherine and I talked until we fell asleep. I dreamt of one act, touching her thigh. In my dreams, I touched it over and over, each time in a different way. I gently caressed, firmly rubbed, or traced my nails up her leg. The texture of her skin changed from smooth, to soft, even to a little prickly.
Suddenly, I woke to the sound of crying. I looked towards the bed next to mine and saw Katherine facing away from me, sobbing in her sleep. Without a word, I climbed out of bed and toward hers. I put my hand on her shoulder and held it there, listening to her sobs reduce to whimpers. I then began to rub her back with my hand. Slowely, it traveled from the bottom of her shoulderblades to her neck, where her baby hairs tickled my knuckles.
I rubbed her back until we both fell asleep.

The next morning, I woke up next to her, holding her from behind. While I was sleeping the night before, I must have dreamt about her again because my arms were around her waist. The strange thing was, her arms had moved over mine and her hands were holding mine. My head was buried in her silky hair. I breathed in her scent before fully waking up. The last thing she needed was to wake up with her roommate in such an intimate way, so I tried to slowly move out of bed without waking her up.
No such luck. She yawned and her eyes opened. Instead of jumping from the bed in shock, she stayed in the same position, holding my hands. Her thumbs rubbed the back of my hands.

"Morning," she mumbled.

"Morning," I said, not being able to concentrate with her fingers rubbing my hands.

"Could you sleep last night?" she asked, her fingers still exploring mine.

"Yeah."

She rolled over and faced me. We were so close, I could feel her hot breath on my face. Her piercing blue eyes looked into mine. I wanted to look away, I really did, but I couldn't. She held my gaze with intense determination as the hair on the back of my neck stood on end. Did she have any idea of what she was doing to me?

"I...have to go," I said, relieved and dissappointed that my good sense kicked in.

"Okay," she said, confused, as I separated myself from her.

I stood and walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I sighed silently and pressed my back to the wall and closed my eyes. My breathing began to slow down to its normal pace as the room before me materialized. Why was she so.....Why didn't I.....
Questions raced through my mind. Why didn't she ask why I was in her bed? She was asleep when I was comforting her, right?
I brushed my teeth and dressed in the bathroom. I raced out of the dorm before Katherine had left her bed.

I spent most of the time before class in the library. It was so deserted that morning. I opened up my bookbag and took out my English homework. I had already done the assigned reading for class, but I decided to read further. Anything to keep my mind off Katherine.
It was then that I was startled by the piercing sound of someone clearing their throat. I whipped around to see Katherine, disheveled in her uniform. Her hair looked like it wasn't brushed. She must have been in a hurry.

"What's wrong with you?" she whispered, sitting in a chair that was dangerously close to mine.

"What?" I responded, knowing full well what she was talking about.

"You left before we could talk."

I looked back down at my book and answered, "There's nothing to talk about."

She looked a bit stunned and confused at the same time, even hurt. My heart sank, until her look of sadness turned to a look of anger.

"Fine," she replied.

Katherine walked out of the library and didn't look back. I wanted to chase after her so much, but I just sat there, watching her leave.

The rest of the day was a distracted blur. All I could think about was Katherine's expression that morning. She looked so hurt. I wanted to talk to her all morning, but every time we made eye contact she looked away.
That night, she came back to the room late. She came in, plopped her bookbag onto the bed, and turned to look at me.

"So," she said.

"I'm sorry," I said, not daring to look away from her.

"Good," she said, "So, how was your day?"

I was confused, but went on to tell her how that day went. She sat and listened intently. Every time I stopped talking, she would ask about some insignificant event that I mentioned and listened to the details. Just like that, it was as if that morning had never happened.
But it had. That morning had happened. I couldn't shake that feeling I had when we were in bed together. It haunted me for the rest of the week. Luckily, I had a busy week. Projects, tests, quizzes, none of which I really cared about, were assigned. I dove into my schoolwork, hoping to think about something other than her. I felt sick with the stress of it all. I began to actually feel worried about my grades, when really all I was worried about was facing her at the end of every day.

She began to talk to me about her favourate books. She even read to me sometimes, when I was stressed out. I listened to her soothing deep voice that failed to rush through any word or phrase, carefully stressing each syllable as though it had a life of its own. Even though she did not rush through any of the text, her voice would rise and almost shake in excitement at suspensful passages and become breathless with wonder at the more beautifully written portions.

These readings became routine every afternoon after classes. She read me Shakespeare and Jane Austin. One afternoon, she was reading Pride and Prejudice. It was hot inside our dorm and we were both in boxers and tank tops. Her hair had curled from the humidity and became slightly frizzy. She had reached the part in the book where Mr. Darcy notices how beautiful Lizzy is after she arrives at his house, sweaty and unkempt after a long walk.

Katherine was reading about the glow of Elizabeth's cheeks when she stumbled over the words for a moment. She looked up at me and gave me a quick smile before finding her place again and continuing. I finally realized, I wanted her as much as she wanted me. Even with her hair in frizzy knots, her scent stifled by the odor of our sweat, and the light makeup she wore melting off of her face, I wanted her more than I wanted Brittany at her best. I realized that I was way past missing Brittany.

My mind was clear for the first time in what seemed like years. What made me nervous around Katherine was not mere sexual tension. It was something more. Something I needed to pursue.

I pretended to listen as I thought about how I would pursue her. I knew that I could have just kissed her right there and there would be a good chance that she would kiss me back, but I didn't want that. No, I wanted to pursue her properly, with respect and consideration. I wanted her to enjoy the building of our relationship. I wanted it to be like her reading. Not rushed, but taken at an appropriate speed with care. With Brittany, it was almost incidental. I wanted it to be different with Katherine.

I waited until she finished reading the chapter before I rose and asked her, "May I?"

She looked slightly stunned and handed me the book, saying, "Sure, you want to read?"

"Sure."

She smiled and sat on the bed as I continued her reading. Against my own instincts, I took my time while reading, trying to read with patience as she did. Whenever Darcy spoke to Elizabeth, I read as though I was speaking to Katherine. She laughed at first, but then fell silent and looked so deep into my eyes that I almost felt like looking away.

We took turns reading for the rest of the week. Austen's description of Darcy and Elizabeth falling in love was so realistic that we could not help but give each other knowing glances. By Thursday, we reached the end of the novel. Katherine closed the book and stroked the cover before looking up at me.

"Well," she said, "That's it for Miss Austen."

"What should we read next?"

"I was thinking..." She began.

"What?"

She looked down and I noticed she blushed slightly before she said, "Romeo and Juliet?"

"That sounds great. I never really got around to reading it."

Her blush evaporated and her jaw dropped, "You never read it!?" she said in almost a squeal, "Seriously?"

I nodded and laughed, rubbing the back of my neck in slight embarressment.

"Didn't you have to read it for school or something?" she asked, with a genuine concern.

"Yeah," I answered, "I got by without even opening it."

"Well, we are definitly reading it now. Starting tomarrow."

The next day, I tried my hardest not to be distracted by the thought of reading what was supposed to be the most romantic play ever written with the girl I was quickly falling for. For so long, I had been under Brittany's influence, I had actually forgotten how it was to be in love with someone and enjoy it.

Once the last bell rang, I scooped my books up and nearly ran out the door. Brittany must have been reading my thoughts, since she stopped me at the door.

"We need to talk," She whispered seductively.

"About what?" I asked quietly.

"Us."

"Brit," I lowered my voice, even though the classroom was now empty, "There is no us. There hasn't been for over two months."

"C'mon, don't act like you haven't been trying to make me jelous."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"You and Katherine. I have to say, it worked."

"What did?"

"Don't be stupid. It's so obvious that you were using her to get to...," she traced the side of my face with her manicured hand, "Me."

A laugh must had escaped my lips, because Brittany stepped back in outrage. Before I knew it, her hand returned to my face and slapped me. Hard. Deja Vu.

"You BITCH!" she hissed, "You actually like her, don't you?"

"Why do you care?" I asked, feeling my cheek thobbing. She had gotten stronger.

"By tomarrow," she stepped closer to me, "Everyone will know. The school, the students, your parents. Everyone."

"Then I'll let them know about you too."

"It's your word against mine. You can't win against me."

"Sure I can," I straightened up and looked her in the eyes, "I have countless notes from you in your own handwriting. Besides, Brit," I stepped closer to her, "Everyone wants to believe that the school princess has a dirty little secret. Just watch. People will believe me, not just because it's true, but because they want to."

"I can't believe you..."

"If you take me down, I guarantee that you're coming down with me."

Brittany's jaw had dropped. I almost ducked, thinking that she was going to slap me again, but she just backed away, looking defeated. After she left the room, my cheek began to throb again. I knew it wasn't over.

I made my way across campus to my dorm. I walked inside my room and before I could close the door, Katherine closed the book she was holding and rushed towards me.

"Oh my gosh!" she whispered, "What happened?"

I tried to hide the fresh red handprint on my face with my hand, but she moved it away. She lightly touched her fingers to it and I winced in pain. She winced with me.

"I'm sorry," she said, "Let's go down to the nurse's station."

"No," I said.

"But..."

I interrupted her, "Katherine, I'm alright, really."

She left the room to go into the bathroom and returned with a washcloth soaked in cold water. I turned away when she tried to place it on my face, but then turned towards her again. She placed the chilled cloth on my cheek and I put my hand over it. She put her hand on mine.

"Hold it there," she let go and stepped away, "Was it Brittany?"

"Yeah."

"Why did she..."

"It's a long story."

"No it's not," This girl could see right past my bullshit.

"It's not, but could we pretend it is? Just for now?" I asked.

She paused and searched my face for a moment, "Sure."

"So, did you get a copy of Romeo and Juliet?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"It's in our English textbooks, along with a few of his other plays too. They have Othello, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Macbeth.... Oh! We have to read Macbeth after this!"

"Let's just get through this play first," I said, laughing at her adorable excitement.

"Alright," she said, feigning dissapointment, "Hey, I was thinking that we could read this one together. Like, we could read the different parts."

"Act it out?" I asked, skeptical. Acting wasn't my thing.

"Sort of. We don't have to do all of the actions. We could just read it through."

She looked so excited at the idea, so of course I said yes.

We began reading through the play, Only taking breaks to talk about each scene. We randomly read the smaller parts, but by the second scene it was established that I was Romeo and she was Juliet. During the party scene, I took the opportunity to kiss her on to cheek a few times, even though the script indicated a kiss on the lips. I surprised her with the first kiss, kissing her so far from her lips (as to not accidentally get her lips) that I almost kissed her ear. She was slightly stunned and laughed through her next line. Then came the line where I had to kiss her a second time. I was going to kiss her on the cheek in the same place, but she surprised me that time.
Her hand cupped my chin and she guided my kiss to just outside the outline of her lips. She, at the same time, kissed me outside the corner of my lips.

She held me in that position for a moment before we pulled back. Her face remained close to mine as she continued to read her lines. She must have had the play nearly memorized, because she did not move her gaze from mine. I stuttered a bit on the next line and she giggled before moving away from me and sitting on her bed.

"I'm hungry," she said, "Can we take a break?"

"Yeah, sure. Do you want to order some pizza?"

"Nah. Chinese food sounds better."

"Okay, I know a good place, but it doesn't deliver."

"Well, we'll just have to go for a little drive, now won't we?" She said, walking to the closet and retrieving our coats.

"We've still got four hours until curfew's over. The place is only fifteen minutes away. I can go alone."

"Oh no you don't. I need to get out of here for a bit. Besides, with all of the freaks out after dark, you'll need someone to protect you," she said, walking into the hallway and then turning towards me, "Right?"

I followed her and closed and locked the door behind us, "Right."

I called in our order on my cell phone on the way to my car. I slid into the driver's seat. "Buckle up," ordered my passenger. I buckled my seatbelt and began our drive. The drive was almost silent, with an occasional interruption to ask about what radio station we both wanted. We settled on a station for the oldies. "Dream a Little Dream of Me" by Mama Cass was playing when we hit a traffic jam. An accident had happened and it didn't look like a minor collision. There was an ambulance and someone was being taken from the car in a stretcher.

I heard a gasp come from Katherine. My hand instinctively found hers and pulled it onto my leg. I held her hand tightly as we were unable to pass in the traffic jam. I tried to calm her down, but Katherine's breathing quickened and she began to hyperventalate and shake violently. Once the ambulance and the tow truck left not long afterward, I immediatly pulled over once the accident was out of sight. I unbuckled my seatbelt and turned toward her, holding her hands in mine.

"Katherine, listen to me. Breath. In through the nose and out through the mouth."

She had a panicked look in her eyes, but followed my instruction. Each breath she took was longer and more steady than the previous one. I said everything I could to soothe her, to remind her that I was there for her. After ten minutes of this, her breathing returned to normal. She paused and looked up at me.

"Katherine, are you okay?"

She suddenly began to sob. I pulled her toward me and let her head rest on my shoulder. It wasn't until fifteen minutes later that she talked. Her head remained on my shoulder as she whispered why she was crying, why she had panicked, and why she had been crying in her sleep. Years before, she had been visiting her older cousin at college when they went out for a drive. Her cousin ran a red light and a truck hit their car on the driver's side. Her cousin died on impact. Ten year old Katherine was completely conscious and trapped in the car with her dead cousin for ten minutes before the paramedics arrived.

Katherine sat up straight and unzipped her jeans.

"Katherine..." I began, but stopped when she only lowered them slightly and I noticed what she was trying to show me.

Under the car ceiling light, I could see the deep series of scars up her hip. She then turned around in her seat and raised her shirt. There was a long, jagged scar that went from her shoulderblade to her lower back, along with a few lighter ones. I then remembered feeling something on her back that night when she was crying in her sleep. I was too embaressed about my behavior to ask what it was.

Katherine lowered her shirt and zipped up her pants. She had stopped crying. She apologized for breaking down, but I told her never to apologize for something like that. She then looked at my tear soaked shirt sleeve and started to laugh.

"Sorry about your shirt," she laughed.

"Don't worry about it," I said, beginning to laugh myself. It seemed like we both needed to laugh after such a big emotional outpour.

"Thanks," she said, with a small smile, "For listening, I mean."

I paused to return her smile, "Don't worry about it."

The rest of the drive was silent, but not uncomfortable. We both felt the weight lifted from us. We finally pulled up to the Chinese restaurant.

"I'll get the food," I said, unbuckling my seat belt.

"How much do I owe you?" she asked, taking out her wallet.

"Nothing," I said.

"How much?" she insisted.

I sighed, "Just give me seven bucks and we'll call it even. But I'm paying for the next one."

"Deal" she said, handing me ten dollars.

After returning with the food, I put it in the back seat and sat back in the driver's seat. After five minutes of driving, the song "Something" from the Beatles began to play. The lyrics spoke to me now more than ever. I listened as it played,

Something in the way
She moves,
Attracts me like no other lover,
Something in the way
She moves me.
I don't want to leave her now....

A smile formed on my lips as I thought of my passenger. Suddenly, I felt her hand on my knee. Her thumb rubbed my leg as I soaked in what was happening. She kept it there until we pulled in to the school parking lot. It was dark out and no one was outside. Katherine took the bag of food as we unlocked the car and looped her arm around mine. We walked up to the dorm room and unpacked our meal on the floor in between our beds. Not wanting to make the trip to get paper plates, we just ate right out of the containers.

As we ate, she hummed "Something" by the Beatles.

After we finished our meal, we read the famous balcony scene. When we began, Katherine sat on her knees on the bed and I sat facing her on my bed. I wanted to kneel on the floor in front of her, but I knew we would just laugh through the whole scene if I did that.

I watched her intently as she read her lines so passionatly. Instead of reading them in an overly dramatic way, she seemed very natural as she read. This caused me to refrain from reading my lines jokingly. Her gaze stayed on the page until one passage during her monologue. She looked into my eyes and slowly recited:

In truth, fair Montague, I am too fond,
And therefore thou mayst think my 'havior light:
But trust me, gentleman, I'll prove more true
Than those that have more cunning to be strange.
I should have been more strange, I must confess,
But that thou overheard'st, ere I was ware,
My true love's passion: therefore pardon me,
And not impute this yielding to light love,
Which the dark night hath so discovered.

A few moments after that last line, after I had been unable to break our eye contact, she spoke.

"It's your line," she whispered.

"Oh! Sorry,"


We stayed up half the night talking about whether Romeo and Juliet fell in love at first sight, or in lust. I thought, from what I read, that it was love at first sight, but Katherine disagreed. It was after lights out, so we were in the room in the dark. I was in my bed and could barely make out Katherine in her bed. The dim moonlight allowed me to see the outline of her form.

"No!" she said, "No way was that true love!"

"Why?" I laughed.

"Because, Romeo had just been rejected by another girl that he was in "love" with and one look at Juliet and he's back on the horse again! Romeo's not romantic, he's flaky!"

"Wow. you are not a romantic, are you?"

She stopped laughing and I saw her silouette sit up, "I am a romantic. I just think that love takes time."

Then she shocked me once again. I could barely see, but she rolled on her side and then pulled the covers back.

"Get over here" she whispered.

"What?" I asked, not really caring about the reason.

"I still get nightmares about..."

"Is the door locked?"

"Yeah."

I didn't want to chance a faculty member or another girl walking in and seeing two girls sleeping in a bed together. I walked over to her bed and lied down next to her. I stayed as still as I possibly could and faced away from her. A few minutes passed and she stirred. I heard her mumble something. She moved closer to me and wrapped her arms around me from behind. Her hands slid underneath my tank top. Her palms were pressed flat on my abdomen underneath my shirt. Her head was nuzzled in the curve of my neck. I could feel the warmness of her cheek on my neck. I felt her hot breath against my skin. Her legs were tangled in mine as we slept. I felt the movement of her body. Her breath, her movement, the expanding and contraction of her ribs. It felt peaceful.

"You're such a good friend," she mumbled.

There was that word. Friend.

I woke the next morning alone. I must have mumbled Katherine's name before I was fully awake, because she ran to the bedside and knelt. She combed her hand through my hair and smiled at me.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Never been better. No nightmares?"

"None last night. I guess you chased them away."

We began sleeping in the same bed every other night at least. She would crawl into my bed, take my arm, and put it around her neck. She would then fall asleep with her head on my shoulder, and I would lie in bed awake, wondering what she was dreaming about. One night, like some others, she woke up in a cold sweat. She gasped and sat up. I sat up with her and began to rub her back.

"Shhhhh....It's okay, you're okay...." I cooed.

Her breaths were shallow and ragged as she responded, "I know. I just...it seemed so real..."

"I know, but it wasn't real. You're okay," I whispered, noticing how close our faces were to each other.

She looked at me. Her stare looked lost and empty. She tilted her head and kissed just outside the corner of my lips. Her sweaty scent stung me. Her lips pressed firmly against my skin. Her hand found mine as she slowly parted from my cheek and rested her head on my shoulder. I could still feel the kiss lingering on my skin.

She was always frantic when she woke from a night terror, but she had gotten past the point of crying. I would just rub her back and sometimes hold her until she wanted to go back to sleep. Sometimes, if it was a Friday or Saturday night, she wouldn't want to go back to sleep at all. So we would just stay up and read Romeo and Juliet, whispering the lines so we wouldn't wake the girls in the other rooms.

We talked a lot about the Bible. I didn't know if I believed in all of it at first, but then Katherine showed me what her interpretation was. Since it is a sin to use the words of the Bible in arguement, it would be hypocrytical of me to say what her arguement was, but she basically disproved each passage in the Bible that said homosexuality was wrong. She had been taking Bible study since she could remember, since her grandmother who she was close to was very religious, but also very accepting. "Besides," she said, "Your conscience is supposed to be your guide given by God. Only God can judge what is in your conscience. I believe that Jesus wanted to help people understand that if you live your life truly loving others and loving God, you need no other guidance."

I was convinced. I no longer felt insecurity about who I was in connection to God after that conversation. Funny how one conversation can change someone's outlook on life.

We finished Romeo and Juliet two weeks after we began. In the last scene, we knew that the kiss was coming. When Katherine read the line, she cupped my face in her hands and looked into my eyes. To my surprise, she kissed me tenderly on my forehead. We both closed our eyes and held our breath. The kiss on my forehead lasted at least ten seconds. She surprised me once again by backing away after the kiss was over, sitting on her bed and avoiding eye contact. She rapidly finished reading the play before saying that she was tired and wanted to go to bed early. She slept in her own bed that night.

"Were you feeling alright last night?" I asked her the next day during our break between classes.

"What do you mean?" she asked, still refusing to make eye contact with me.

"Well, for one, you won't look at me."

She looked me in the eyes and said, "There, is that what you wanted?"

"Uhh... Are you okay?" I asked, a little taken aback by her tone.

"I thought we already went over this," she said, craning her head back over the back of her chair and staring at the ceiling.

"We did. You didn't answer me," responded, a little irritated.

"I'm fine."

"You don't seem..."

"I'm fine, okay?" she snapped.

"What is wrong with you?" I asked.

"Nothing!"

"Let's at least talk about it."

She looked away and whispered, "There's nothing to talk about."

"Yes there is. You know it and I know it," I whispered.

"Maybe it would be best for the both of us if we didn't."

"What are you talking about?"

"People are talking, Renee," she hissed, "I don't want this to be a repeat of my old school."

"I didn't think you were the type who would care."

She looked down at her desk and mumbled, "Maybe you don't know me that well..."

Before I could say anything more, the teacher walked in and began class. For the rest of the week, we avoided each other. When one of us was in the room, the other would find something else to do. When we needed to talk, our responses and questions to each other were reduced to one or two words.

On Friday, Katherine passed by me in the hallway and slipped a piece of paper into my hand. My heart seemed to do a victory jig as I made my way to my next class. It wasn't until lunch that I was able to hide in an empty classroom to read in peace. I sat on the heater next to the window and opened the piece of paper that was folded into a triangle. The writing was in purple pen, in messy slanted handwriting. I was able to decifer as I read:

Renee-
I am so soo soooo sorry for the way I've been acting.
It's not just because of what happened at my old school,
I just don't want you to go through what I went through.
If the school finds out about you, you'll get expelled.
I know it sounds stupid, but I was trying to act like I didn't care about you
to protect you.
We just need to be a little more careful about how we act in public,
That's all.
I am soooooooo sorry.
I want things to be like before.
Please don't hate me.
- Katherine

I sighed in relief. I waited impatiently for the school day to end. When it did, I bolted to my dorm room. I opened the door and found Katherine sitting on my bed. She looked up and opened her mouth to say something, but I practically tackled her with a hug before she could get a word out.

"I missed you," she said into my hair as we hugged.

We spent the afternoon reading Macbeth. Katherine read the part of Lady Macbeth with passion and fire. It finally came to the part in the play when Macbeth begins to doubt if he can murder a man to gain power. Lady Macbeth is shocked at his hesitance and goes into a tirade about him not being a real man. Katherine stood and recited it from memory, staring me in the eyes and showing true outrage as the character would. She raised her voice as she said:

What beast was't, then,
That made you break this enterprise to me?
When you durst do it, then you were a man;
And, to be more than what you were, you would
Be so much more the man. Nor time nor place
Did then adhere, and yet you would make both:
They have made themselves, and that their fitness now
Does unmake you. I have given suck, and know
How tender 'tis to love the babe that milks me:
I would, while it was smiling in my face,
Have pluck'd my nipple from his boneless gums,
And dash'd the brains out, had I so sworn as you
Have done to this.

To this day I do not know why, but every word of that monologue sparked growing anger within me. My jaw clenched as she questioned Macbeth's manhood with a look of disgust. I returned her look of disgust as she went on. It may have been because of the character or because of Katherine's convincing performance, but by the last two lines, my heart was racing and my adrenaline rushed to the tips of my fingers.
After she had finished the monologue, I stood and walked toward her. I dropped my book somewhere between her and the bed. I put my hand to the back of her head and my lips met hers without hesitation. She had a sharp intake of breath which soon changed to a low moan. Her tongue pressed against my lips and past through them. My hand moved from her head to her shoulder. We parted for an instant and looked at each other. We searched each other's faces for a sign of regret, anxiety, anything that would be a cue to stop, but found none.